Dec 17, 2008

My SPECIAL Fruitcake Recipe...

OK, this has been a highly guarded secret until now but
in the spirit of Christmas I've decided to share not only the secret recipe but the secret 'baking process' as well! Let's get started!


*One cup water
*One cup sugar
*Four large eggs
*Two cups of dried fruit
*One teaspoon baking soda
*One teaspoon salt
*One cup brown sugar
*Lemon juice
*One bottle whiskey

  • Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
  • Repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
  • Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
  • Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
  • Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
  • Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
  • Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
  • Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again. Go to bed.

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5 COMMENTS - Click here to leave YOURS!:

Heathen's Hearth said...

LOL! You know I thought it was a recipe, till I got to the part about beating butter, and thought... but there was no butter in the ingredients...DUH.

Thanks for the laugh!

Sacred Herbals said...

Haha I like the whiskey part!

Start To Finish Supplies said...

You are too much. That had me laughing for sure. Loved this part: "Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts". Great directions!

Dianna said...

OK.....I'm a true blonde. It took me awhile to figure out that this was a joke and not the true thing. I know I don't cook well, but don't tease me like this...I can't take it!!!

PurrPrints said...

My sister got a definite kick out of this one...she hates fruitcake ;)

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