Dec 17, 2008

My SPECIAL Fruitcake Recipe...


OK, this has been a highly guarded secret until now but
in the spirit of Christmas I've decided to share not only the secret recipe but the secret 'baking process' as well! Let's get started!


Ingredients:

*One cup water
*One cup sugar
*Four large eggs
*Two cups of dried fruit
*One teaspoon baking soda
*One teaspoon salt
*One cup brown sugar
*Lemon juice
*Nuts
*One bottle whiskey

  • Sample the whiskey to check for quality. Take a large bowl. Check the whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink.
  • Repeat.
  • Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
  • Make sure the whiskey is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer.
  • Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
  • Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaters pry it loose with a drewscriver.
  • Sample the whiskey to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whiskey.
  • Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
  • Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
  • Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whiskey again. Go to bed.

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5 COMMENTS - Click here to leave YOURS!:

Heathen's Hearth said...

LOL! You know I thought it was a recipe, till I got to the part about beating butter, and thought... but there was no butter in the ingredients...DUH.

Thanks for the laugh!

Sacred Herbals said...

Haha I like the whiskey part!

Start To Finish Supplies said...

You are too much. That had me laughing for sure. Loved this part: "Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts". Great directions!

Dianna said...

OK.....I'm a true blonde. It took me awhile to figure out that this was a joke and not the true thing. I know I don't cook well, but don't tease me like this...I can't take it!!!

PurrPrints said...

My sister got a definite kick out of this one...she hates fruitcake ;)

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