Feb 2, 2009

Cupid's Cousin

*** Public Service Announcement ***


Valentine's Day is quickly approaching so it is imperative that all women be alerted to the possibility of a visit from Cupid's cousin, Clarence. Not as well known as his brother, Clarence is responsible for havoc and heartache every February 14th. It is crucial that all women be alerted to the symptoms resulting from the sting of Clarence's arrow and take precautions to protect themselves.

Symptoms that indicate you have been shot by one of Clarence's arrows:
  1. You have an uncontrollable urge to eat all things chocolate - you catch yourself adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
  2. You suddenly find the Viagra and Cialis commercials romantic and touching.
  3. You have an uncontrollable urge to watch "Sleepless in Seattle" over and over again.
  4. You think the bald, overweight grocery bagger at the local supermarket has date potential.
If you experience these symptoms, you are at HIGH RISK of hooking up with a really bad date this Valentine's day. If you find yourself in a bar, please keep this list of comebacks handy to avoid this unfortunate event:
  • Man: "Haven't I seen you someplace before? You: "Yeah, that's why I don't go there anymore."
  • Man: "So, wanna go back to my place ?" You: "Well, I don't know. Will two people fit under a rock?"
  • Man: "Your place or mine?" You: "Both. You go to yours and I'll go to mine."
  • Man: "I'd like to call you. What's your number?" You: "It's in the phone book." Man: "But I don't know your name." You: "That's in the phone book too."
  • Man: "So what do you do for a living?" You: "I'm a female impersonator."
  • Man: "I know how to please a woman." You: "Then please leave me alone."
  • Man: "I want to give myself to you." You: "Sorry, I don't accept cheap gifts."
  • Man: "If I could see you naked, I'd die happy: You: "Yeah, but if I saw you naked, I'd probably die laughing."
  • Man: "I would go to the ends of the world for you. You: "Yes, but would you stay there?
Good luck, stay safe,
and be on a watchful lookout for Clarence!
Prints of "Cupid's Cousin" are available now in my ArtFire shop.


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8 COMMENTS - Click here to leave YOURS!:

LoveEtsyFeedback TagsAndButtons said...

lol great! And I love your little art gu hes so cute!

Dianna said...

Ok - where do you get your ideas? Sometimes, I have to wonder... And, the guy/girl comments...are these from personal experience? too funny!!!

PurrPrints said...

Lol--love #2 especially--that would DEFINITELY be a warning sign...tee hee

Jan said...

LOL thanks for bringing smile to us.

bernthis said...

I love this. I am now 4 plus years and 4 valentines day since my divorce. I was with him for 14 years. I just can't stand this holiday. It really rubs it in the face of all of us who are not with someone. thanks for the laugh

Anonymous said...

That is so cute! What a clever idea!

Rachel

Sarita said...

That's great, I love it! Heaven knows that Cupid's evil cousin has struck me in years past... oh man...

Kaycee said...

I LOVE ATCs!! And that one is FANTASTIC!! I would be honored to win! Thanks for the chance!

kayceewilliams at gmail dot com

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